Our host family:
Deepak – father
Reena – mother (30)
Derek – son (4 in July)
Extended family (all living together):
Joseph – Reena's father
Theresa – Reena's mother
Vimla (Vimmy) – Reena's aunt (Theresa's sister)
Alex - Reena's brother/Theresa's older son (21)
Henry – Reena's brother/Theresa's younger son (20)
There were many other aunts and siblings and friends to come by and meet us, but this was enough for us to keep track of!
Our biggest surprise was that our family was Christian, not Hindu – but that does explain all of the English-sounding names. While the reason our particular family was Christian remains a mystery, many of the Hindus that converted to Christianity did so because of their low caste in society.
Our family lived in a modest middle-class home with two bedrooms, a kitchen, and a bathroom (squat toilet). Even though this house seems small by American standards, servants came by most days to wash clothes and clean the bathroom, and the family had new appliances and a fairly new car. Alex and I were in one bedroom, with Deepak, Reena, and Derek using the other bedroom as a place to sleep, eat, hang out, and watch TV – very crowded quarters! The extended family lived a few houses down, where they had one bedroom, a living room, a kitchen, and a bathroom. Joseph and Theresa (the parents) shared the bedroom, with the sister-in-law (Vimmy) and two sons (Henry and Alex) all sleeping in the living room on sofa beds. Indian children live at home much longer than most American children, and are fully supported by their parents until they move out. Alex (21 yrs) and Henry (20 yrs) both lived with their parents, and had never had jobs before. Joseph told us that it was his duty to provide for his children while they studied, and he didn't want them to have jobs. He was shocked to hear that we didn't live with our parents – we actually had to tell him multiple times before he understood. To him, living in a society where family is paramount, us living away from family was almost shameful. But to us, growing up in a society that values independence, living away from family is a measure of success – it shows you are self-reliant and can support yourself.
During our time with the Corneliuses, we were wholeheartedly taken in as part of the family and shown true Indian hospitality. This came with its positives and negatives. On the plus side, we were truly part of an Indian family, and learned about how they dress, eat, sleep, wash, relax, etc – and they were able to learn from us as well. The food was AMAZING and Derek was a doll. They gave us head massages with nice smelling oils, and gifted me 1 salwar kameez, 2 "pyjama" tops, 5 pairs of leggings, some shorts, nail polish, a necklace, a set of bed sheets, and many glass bangles (poor Alex only got his own gift of bed sheets). Family members were constantly bringing over fresh fruit and ice cream at all hours of the day.
But being used to our personal space and independence, sharing a small home with three strangers had its difficulties. We were given enough food for an entire family of people each meal, and often the food would be dished up for us so we had very little control over portion size. Not wanting to be rude, we felt compelled to eat everything on our plates. The first few days, when we were still jet-lagged and miserable in the heat, it was physically hard to finish our food. We also found it hard to ask for any advice on how to do something, as they would then try to do it for us in order to be as hospitable as possible. For example, we asked Deepak where we could buy a TATA photon+ (a USB internet modem for our laptop) – he told us Alex would come take us in an hour. Two hours roll by, and we ask again – Alex is coming soon he says. We wait, and when he does arrive he comes with the TATA in hand instead of taking us to the store. This would have been helpful, except it was obvious that it came from his computer as it was without a box or case of any kind. We ended up buying one later so he could have internet again.
We also asked them to take us shopping our first night there, so that we could buy some local clothing to fit in. Instead of bringing us to one of the many cheap stores nearby, they brought us to a very Western, very expensive store, and talked us into buying our salwars and kurtas there because they were "very quality". I'll just say the price we paid for all 4 outfits could pay a month's rent for a comfortable 2 bedroom home in Delhi...
All in all, it was an unforgettable experience living with our Indian family, and I am grateful to have learned so much about Indian culture firsthand.
-Christina
No comments:
Post a Comment