On Streets and Street Food

Here are some rules for driving in India:

• The lines in the road mean nothing. It is perfectly normal to drive between two lanes of traffic. This turns a 3 lane highway into 5 overlapping lanes.
• When changing lanes, do not look over your shoulder or check your sideview mirrors (in fact, it is best to have sideview mirrors folded in, so you can squeeze through tighter spaces without losing them). Instead, just merge over; if you are in front of any cars to your side, you have the right-of-way.
• If a car in front of you merges into your lane, it is your duty to slam on your brakes to avoid being hit. But don't honk in anger, that would not be very cool.
• Use your horn to inform the next car/bike of your intent to pass; when passing a car, and especially a truck, honk your horn for the entire duration of the overtake. “Dippers” are to only be used at night when overtaking trucks.
• It is perfectly acceptable to drive the wrong way down a one way street or highway, especially if you are just a motorcycle or auto-rickshaw.
• Do not stop for red lights, unless it is a large intersection with many cars coming. If you absolutely must stop, it is best to try to go around the intersection (by driving on the curb) if possible.
• For uncontrolled intersections, just pull out in front of oncoming traffic. They will slam on their brakes and allow you to cross.
• When crossing the street as a pedestrian, it is important to realize that cars will not stop for you unless they absolutely must. Therefore, it is best to SLOWLY inch your way across the street, this allows drivers to steer around you. Stepping out in front of an oncoming car while showing the palm of your hand in a “stop” motion may also persuade them to break.
• Only wear your seatbelt when going through areas where there are police check points. Even then, only the driver and front passenger may put them on, since hardly any cars have functioning seatbelts in the backseats.
• For every 200 meters of driving, there will be 10 dogs, 3 goats, and 6 cows in the road. Cows are not at all afraid of traffic, and will stroll through the middle of any road or highway. Dogs will wait at the side of the road for traffic to clear, look both ways, then dart across the street.
• Do not hit cows. People may mob and hurt you. There are stories of people being burned alive in their cars by angry mobs for running over cows.
• Do not get in the car with young men trying to impress their new American friends, especially when he has a loud sound system and CDs filled with Kei$ha and Katy Perry songs.
• There are no rules.

As you can see, driving in India is not for the faint of heart. Our first taxi ride from the Delhi Airport into Faridabad, an hour and a half drive, was absolutely terrifying. But in the past few weeks, we have both become quite familiar with the above rules, and catching a ride in a rickshaw is not at all frightening anymore, though it is always a little exhilarating. And people actually drive pretty slow here—too much congestion and poor quality roads mean it's very hard to pick up much speed.

ATTN TO ANY MOMS READING THIS: STOP READING NOW

Then again, just when I thought I was comfortable with the driving here, I took a motorcycle ride with a nurse from the clinic, Riyaz. I needed to go to a certain market to pick up a USB modem so I could get internet on my old HP, and this market can not be accessed by rickshaws or taxis, only bikes. We had seen a motorcycle accident in Delhi a few days earlier, so I was a little nervous to get on the bike, but this was the internet after all—well worth risking death for. The traffic is much more terrifying when you are on a bike and the trucks and cars you are squeezing between are 6 inches from your legs, rather than from the exterior of your vehicle. To add to the excitement, we were also transporting Auntie, another nurse who is a very full-figured older Indian woman. Riyaz's Honda is 110cc (fuel economy: 70 kilometers/liter!) and meant to be ridden by one man and maybe a small Japanese woman on the back. There were of course no helmets (Riyaz puts a lot of effort into styling his hair). We dropped off Auntie at her house first, then made the 15 minute journey to the market.

Riyaz was actually a very safe driver by Indian standards, and was incredibly helpful with translating at the telecom office. He even refused the 100 Rs commission they offered him for bringing me in, a very nice gesture considering he makes only a few hundred rupees a day. Afterward, he took me out to his favorite chicken biryani street food place, which was very spicy and delicious. I tried to pay for lunch but he of course refused. I then tried to pay for our Mountain Dews, but again he swatted my money out of the way and paid for them. He even insisted I take the chicken leg from his plate (again I refused, again he didn't listen). 

We talked about his family, and how his parents, 2 brothers, and 3 sisters have all disowned him since he married a Hindu girl—even though she converted to Islam, his religion—he had been dating for 5 years (she is now 19, he is 27, they have a 2 month old son). He said he feels sad sometimes that his family has not spoken to him in over a year, but that he does not need them. He showed me a picture of his wife and son, Rihan; I said his wife is very beautiful and I think she was worth losing his family for.

-Alex

Me and Riyaz at the clinic